Note to Self

I send myself messages from time to time and I leave out any detail or explanation thinking with my memory of steel, I will know exactly the context and purpose for sending myself such a message. I have found lately, my mind is not what it used to be and even messages from me are unclear. I can attribute this error to the fact that my memory is failing and I have the first stages of dementia setting in, or possibly I am not as good of a communicator as I think I am.

The truth is my memory is still pretty good and the majority of the time I can get my point across at least somewhat clearly. The main reason for this communication breakdown is I forget to include some of the context of why something is being said. As I watch this political dog and pony show that our children's future depend on, it's shocking how easy it is to fall into this very trap. The media will take statements out of context and start telling a lie by stringing a whole bunch of truths together. People turn into zealots and pick their candidate looking at all the wrong sort of details.

Quote from Fight Club sent to myself on 2/17/06 at 12:31 AM

"An entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy stuff we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very p*ssed off. Its not until you lose everything that you are free to do anything. The things you own end up owning you."

Memory Loss

They say our ability to remember is what sets humans apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. This ability forces us to be aware of our present and also allows us to plan and prepare for the future. This memory can also hold us back and make us resist change.

Lately I've been thinking about my memories and what about it makes it so hard at times. For me remembering my past is generally a pleasant experience given my blessed life to this point. The hardest memories for me are not really memories at all. They are the memories I have planned on but for whatever reason will never experience.

The expectation of the plans unlived are the hardest for me to give up. Kind of funny since I never really had them to miss. At various points in my life I have had to choose a new path, one unplanned and unforseen. It is at these times, I tend to struggle most, it is in these moments I resist change.